Goody Two Shoes
This story starts out very platonically, in fact it shouldn't be a story at all, but alas my dear Fiona fans - my friend did not disappoint.
A few summers ago I went to my high school reunion. One of the guys at the reunion - we'll call him Goody Two Shoes, he introduces me to his lovely wife and then after she walks away tells me that he'll be in my town in a few months and we should get together for dinner.
Well, that sounds like fun! A few old high school pals catching up.
He then says "you can give your other boyfriends the night off, because I'll be all you need."
Hmm. I'm sure he's just kidding.
We exchange numbers, and I forget about the plans we've made to catch up when he's in town.
A few months go by and I get a text from Goody Two Shoes, letting me know he'll be in town next week and let's make plans to get together for dinner.
Yes! Let's make plans.
The reason we call this guy Goodie Two Shoes is because he is a 6'-ish tall African American man that has probably 1% (ok maybe 3%) body fat. He is one big muscle, is good at every sport he trys, doesn't drink alcohol, doesn't smoke, and makes everyone believe he lives life on the straight and narrow. Now, I only say "makes people believe", because of my own personal experience and those experiences my high school crush has had with him too.
As we are making plans for dinner, there are several suggestive "sexts" from him to me. I wish I could remember exactly what was said, because it was so clever -- If I were to call him on any of his comments, he could easily reply "I was just teasing you, don't be so sensitive"...but if I were inclined to "play", it was a good way to take the temperature of my interest.
I of course ignored all comments, as I wasn't inclined to "play" but I also didn't want to make an issue out of the texts, as I was only meeting him for dinner and then I'd probably not see him again for several years.
It turns out he's in town for three evenings and he wants to have dinner with me all three evenings. He tells me to pick all my favorite places and show him a bit of the town.
The first night he's in town, I pick him up at his hotel and we go to one of my favorite restaurants. I go into the evening knowing that I'll be drinking alone, so I'm going to make it count. I order a glass of champagne, then to my surprise, Goody Two Shoes orders a glass as well. Nice! Maybe this evening will be more fun than I anticipate.
During dinner, Goody Two Shoes goes on and on and on and on (ugh!) about loosing weight, how many calories he eats, how many calories he burns, all about the calorie counter bug he is wearing, and how much he works out. Now, don't get me wrong, me -- being a tom boy who is genetically pre-disposed to building muscle easily, I actually do enjoy a good conversation about muscle building and work outs. A conversation that continues on for more than an hour? No thank you. You lost me at "I count every calorie I eat and burn". Booorrrrriiing.
Dinner is finally over and I can't wait to drop his calorie counting butt off at his hotel.
While we were in the car stopped at a traffic light, a couple crosses the street in front of us. The woman has on a tiny mini-skirt. Goody Two Shoes says "You should have worn a skirt like that, for easy access and multi-tasking".
Ah, Excuse me?
"Ha ha", I nervously say. "there will be no multitasking tonight!" Just in case there was any confusion on that matter. We get to the hotel porte coucher and he thanks me, leans over for a hug and plants a kiss on me. I catch it and turn my head just in time for him to kiss mostly cheek and a little side lip. My eyes are big and I'm saying quickly "OK, thanks for a great evening! See you later!" and thinking "get the heck out of my car!". He even asked me if I wanted to come up to his room and hang out. "NO Thanks". I have a root canal or something I'm very late in getting to, but thank you so much for the offer...maybe next time or never.
The next two evenings were more of him talking about calories and work outs. Since I had given him the Heisman the first night, he didn't try to pull any more moves on me. He did continue on with the sexual innuendos, but I just ignored him.
Even though he was on a business trip, I paid my share of the tabs each night. On our last night, as we are paying our check he says "I'm going to have to be creative in how I turn in these expenses." Which confirmed how cheap he was. Not only was he allowing me to pay my share, but he wasn't even paying his share! He was expense-ing it.
The moral to this story? Sometimes good isn't always better.
A few summers ago I went to my high school reunion. One of the guys at the reunion - we'll call him Goody Two Shoes, he introduces me to his lovely wife and then after she walks away tells me that he'll be in my town in a few months and we should get together for dinner.
Well, that sounds like fun! A few old high school pals catching up.
He then says "you can give your other boyfriends the night off, because I'll be all you need."
Hmm. I'm sure he's just kidding.
We exchange numbers, and I forget about the plans we've made to catch up when he's in town.
A few months go by and I get a text from Goody Two Shoes, letting me know he'll be in town next week and let's make plans to get together for dinner.
Yes! Let's make plans.
The reason we call this guy Goodie Two Shoes is because he is a 6'-ish tall African American man that has probably 1% (ok maybe 3%) body fat. He is one big muscle, is good at every sport he trys, doesn't drink alcohol, doesn't smoke, and makes everyone believe he lives life on the straight and narrow. Now, I only say "makes people believe", because of my own personal experience and those experiences my high school crush has had with him too.
As we are making plans for dinner, there are several suggestive "sexts" from him to me. I wish I could remember exactly what was said, because it was so clever -- If I were to call him on any of his comments, he could easily reply "I was just teasing you, don't be so sensitive"...but if I were inclined to "play", it was a good way to take the temperature of my interest.
I of course ignored all comments, as I wasn't inclined to "play" but I also didn't want to make an issue out of the texts, as I was only meeting him for dinner and then I'd probably not see him again for several years.
It turns out he's in town for three evenings and he wants to have dinner with me all three evenings. He tells me to pick all my favorite places and show him a bit of the town.
The first night he's in town, I pick him up at his hotel and we go to one of my favorite restaurants. I go into the evening knowing that I'll be drinking alone, so I'm going to make it count. I order a glass of champagne, then to my surprise, Goody Two Shoes orders a glass as well. Nice! Maybe this evening will be more fun than I anticipate.
During dinner, Goody Two Shoes goes on and on and on and on (ugh!) about loosing weight, how many calories he eats, how many calories he burns, all about the calorie counter bug he is wearing, and how much he works out. Now, don't get me wrong, me -- being a tom boy who is genetically pre-disposed to building muscle easily, I actually do enjoy a good conversation about muscle building and work outs. A conversation that continues on for more than an hour? No thank you. You lost me at "I count every calorie I eat and burn". Booorrrrriiing.
Dinner is finally over and I can't wait to drop his calorie counting butt off at his hotel.
While we were in the car stopped at a traffic light, a couple crosses the street in front of us. The woman has on a tiny mini-skirt. Goody Two Shoes says "You should have worn a skirt like that, for easy access and multi-tasking".
Ah, Excuse me?
"Ha ha", I nervously say. "there will be no multitasking tonight!" Just in case there was any confusion on that matter. We get to the hotel porte coucher and he thanks me, leans over for a hug and plants a kiss on me. I catch it and turn my head just in time for him to kiss mostly cheek and a little side lip. My eyes are big and I'm saying quickly "OK, thanks for a great evening! See you later!" and thinking "get the heck out of my car!". He even asked me if I wanted to come up to his room and hang out. "NO Thanks". I have a root canal or something I'm very late in getting to, but thank you so much for the offer...maybe next time or never.
The next two evenings were more of him talking about calories and work outs. Since I had given him the Heisman the first night, he didn't try to pull any more moves on me. He did continue on with the sexual innuendos, but I just ignored him.
Even though he was on a business trip, I paid my share of the tabs each night. On our last night, as we are paying our check he says "I'm going to have to be creative in how I turn in these expenses." Which confirmed how cheap he was. Not only was he allowing me to pay my share, but he wasn't even paying his share! He was expense-ing it.
The moral to this story? Sometimes good isn't always better.
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