The Mexican Army

On a recent vacation to Mexico, well for me it was really fat camp. I went on a yoga retreat with a local yoga studio. We did yoga twice a day, ate amazing food and my casita was at the bottom of a "mountain" and I had to walk up and down this mountain in heat and humidity several times a day. Not that I'm bitter, I had a great time, I just don't think I stopped sweating until I was in the airplane on my way home.

Anyway, back to my story.

We were staying at an eco-resort just outside of Sayulita, Mexico which is about a 45-minute drive north of Puerto Vallarta. I use the term "resort" very loosely and not in a bad way. Haramara (http://www.haramararetreat.com/) has beautiful open air casitas that over look the ocean. It's like Swiss Family Robinson meets Yoga. There is no electricity, no walls (which makes showering a spectator sport at times), and creatures big and small.

The casitas are all nestled into the side of a hill and at the bottom of the hill is a small private beach. This beach is wear we hung out most mornings after breakfast and after lunch. Our days mostly centered around our meals, yoga (for most of us) and the little time we had in between each.

To the south of our beach was a small, cozy resort that was similar to our resort - with the added benefit of electricity and other luxuries you get spoiled with while on vacation.

To the north of our beach was another small private beach with two residences over-looking the beach and ocean. There is also a lot of activity and construction as there is a large crew working to build a fancy drive-way to another private home. This construction however, was not near the beach.

To get to this north beach you had to scramble over some large rocks - but the privacy of the beach made the trek worth it.

And privacy is just what we were looking for. 4 of us girls decided that we wanted to lay out on the north beach because a few of us wanted to lay out topless. Tan lines are a really big bummer when trying to show off various cute tops and dresses during the summer.

We scale the rocks with no problem and decide which part of this vast, empty beach we were going to stake our ground.

We find a spot that is well away from the many crabs that inhabit the beach but is also a good distance away from the private residence. One of the girls was really looking forward to taking her top off and did so as soon as we were settled. She then pranced around the beach, went for a swim and hung out on a rock formation up the beach.

She was a little worried that there was a guy at the private residence watering the lawn up the hill a way - but I reassured her, "Don't worry, there is only one guy and he's up the hill, I bet he can't see anything".

I then say, "OK, I'll take my top off too". Little does she know (well she does now) that my plan all along was to take my top off. Hoping that this shared experience would make her feel a bit more at ease with the lonely guy standing on the hill.

Once she comes back from gallivanting around the beach topless, she's still a bit unnerved about the guy on the hill. Again, I try to reassure her. "Don't worry, your boobs are in your armpits anyway".

This seems to do the trick and we lay there reading, chatting and minding our own business for the next 30 minutes or so.

For some reason, I look up at the hill where our resort is and to my astonishment there are no less than 50 Mexican guys on top of the hill watching us lay out topless.

Seriously, 50.

They couldn't have seen much - they were on top of a hill and not that close to us. None the less, they were still there calling all their friends to come over and watch the half naked girls lay on a beach. This was not like Spain. They were acting as if they had never seen breasts before.

Really? Come on.

Well, they are men and a naked breast in any language is a naked breast I suppose.

We tried to laugh this off and ignore them.

About 10 more minutes go by and we look up at the hill...to our horror they have started to climb down the hill and position themselves closer for better viewing! I think there were even a few that were having a snack while peeping.

Now, this isn't cool and we actually start to fear for our safety. We are in a foreign country after all and there are plenty more of them then there are of us.

We decide to put our tops back on and miraculously the crowd thins and it seems they find better things to do. There were still a few stragglers, holding out to see if we'll take our tops off again.

The moral to this story? The international power of the naked boob (even from a distance) is very strong!